self-help books tell us that one of the ways to obtain happiness is through self-awareness — creating what we want through the mastery of our strengths and weaknesses, our thoughts and feelings.
but it is very clear from today’s and yesterday’s readings that this is not so. self awareness causes turmoil and struggle in our lives. (this is what i especially like about oswald chambers’ understanding of God’s preferences — it is quite contrary to what is commonly accepted.)
when we find ourselves in a new set of circumstances, become bothered and nervous, we tend to examine ourselves too much– about why and where we fell short. then, we panic on what we do not have.
or, we can also gloat about our achievements and strengths, delude ourselves into thinking how self-sufficient and great we are. then, we overlook the Giver.
not only does self-awareness usher in too much emotional drama but it drives us to move heaven and earth to find the solutions to our perceived problems, come what may — grinding our intellectual, moral, physical, and spiritual depths as a person… disputing, debating, challenging, pining, and striving for the ultimate answers to the ultimate questions of this thing called life.
yet, it is God’s will that nothing should ever disturb our rest in Him — not our weaknesses or inadequacies, not our dreams and ambitions, and not the success or failure of our plans.
Jesus says, “Come to Me . . . and I will give you rest,” Christ-awareness will take the place of self-awareness. (My Utmost For His Highest)
Christ completes us.
“my Lord, let me come to You at all times and in all things. and, when i am out of sorts, help me to remember that You are practically all i need 24/7. i love You, Jesus, my Love. amen”