two of my kids are married, my eldest daughter and my eldest son. although they are based in australia, we get to chat on skype regularly and update one another about everything — including the petty squabbles they sometimes have with their spouses.
from an outsider’s point of view and from someone who has been down the same road herself, their misunderstandings are nothing but trivial and are common in every other marriage or relationship — really nothing to seriously fret about. but in the heat of the moment, it may not always seem that way to the parties directly concerned.
i tell my kids, “you are only starting to see each other as you truly are. the things you loved about him were special and good enough to make you decide to marry this person. now he is letting his guard down by being himself with you, his chosen lifetime mate. can you allow him to do that in his own home where he can really just be himself, show his not so pleasant side, and still expect the same acceptance and love? if not, where else can he do that? at work where people don’t really love and trust him they way you do? what you are seeing is the real him. we ought to embrace the good with the bad
in the people we love and in our very important relationships. we love unconditionally.”
the reading today talks about disillusionment in a positive perspective, in the reality of God’s love — the point where there are no more false impressions, no more pretensions, and deceptions, “where we see people as they really are but without cynicism, or bitter and stinging criticism. Refusing to be disillusioned is the cause of so much of the suffering, the greatest injury, grief, and pain of human life.” — My Utmost for His Highest
it is actually telling us that the point of disillusionment is not the end but just the beginning of true acceptance and love.
“i love You, my Jesus, my Love. thank You for this invaluable insight which i can apply to my own relationships and which i can teach my growing children. thank You more for taking me through life’s highs and lows that have transformed me to become a better person, a wiser parent, a more loving partner, and a better child of the Father. thank You most for being with me all that time and always. but, life here isn’t over and there is more disillusionment to come for me and my family. grant us the grace of Your Holy Spirit to be on guard and to remember always the reality of true love and acceptance. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, bless us.“