four. that’s the number of relationship breakdowns i’ve experienced this year with people i trusted — two of them occurring in the last three months.
i kept poring over God’s purpose in it all.
if it is all about proving and reassuring, He is all-knowing, so why bother?
“the inner reality of redemption is that it creates all the time. And as redemption creates the life of God in us, it also creates the things which belong to that life. the only thing that can possibly satisfy the need is what created the need. This is the meaning of redemption— it creates and it satisfies.” — My Utmost For His Highest
omg. so what are the things that belong to a life intimate with Christ?
is He strewing my path with this unpleasant turn of events so that i can evidently act the way He did and be truly identified with Him? is it so that i come face to face again with my faults (which i readily admit, anyway) and work at eradicating them completely so i can come out a tad stronger this time until i am finally the best i can be?
is He really just creating these trials so i can look to Him more intently and desperately because He alone can satisfy? are these tests of my obedience, loyalty, preference, courage, forgiveness, unconditional love, and faithfulness — regardless the cost?
people get fed up with religion because they found out that the G0d-given peace and prosperity promised them never came. that the religion they held on to was merely a fantasy and it didn’t work.
so is this about commitment and surrender? spiritual unity and harmony with Him?
“Lord, You know very well the answers to these. I just wished you wouldn’t bother testing me anymore. You already know that all these burdens others have tried to put on me will only draw me closer to You. that no matter what, i will strive to live and love the way You do and to please You as much as i can.
by Your grace alone, though.
dearest God, fill me with Your Holy Spirit that i may fulfill this to eternal life but only with CALM CONFIDENCE and JOY. i love You, Jesus.”